If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
love makes seman taste better
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
