I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
