he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
