He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
