with your own penis?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
