I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
