All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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