Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
