found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
