THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
