he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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