PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
