I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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