So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
