Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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