i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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