good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
