It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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