If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
