so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
