You work out of a Hotel?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
