love makes seman taste better
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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