this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
