There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
