I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
