My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So much Jack, so little girl.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
