I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
