That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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