The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
