ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
