Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were trust falling into bushes
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
