Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
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So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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