well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
