Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
