Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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