Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There r osticjed everywhere
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
