The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
