i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
