We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
