My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
