You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
pop tarts are not kleenex
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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