my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
