bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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