I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
