The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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