And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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