so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
