i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
