i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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