Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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