and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
